Disney’s Four Realms Disappoints
November 6, 2018
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms by Lasse Hallstrom and Joe Johnston is about as boring to anyone over the age of 9 as it sounds.
Disney has had a reputation of beautifully made films including children’s movies that have kept even adults intrigued (see June’s The Incredibles 2). However, films like The Nutcracker are precisely aimed at the scenario of little kids dragging their parents into the box office to line Disney’s pockets with cash.
Such was exactly the situation bringing my brother into the movies just this last weekend. I was hard pressed thinking I could sneak a 5th grader into Halloween, a rated R movie, and you would catch me dead before I step into a film named “Smallfoot” so The Nutcracker it was.
From the poster outside the theatre you would be forgiven if you thought the film was going to be at least mildly entertaining. I declined to watch the trailer on purpose and from the poster with a guy in an eye patch, some soldiers lined up, and a dude swinging a sword in what has got to be the most ridiculous uniform I’ve ever seen, it seemed like maybe just maybe, it wasn’t going to be an hour and 40-minute nap.
But oh, how wrong I was!
The movie starts off with an old man who gifts one of his kids a magic egg, as one does, from his dying wife. Then some time later the daughter who was given said magical egg refuses to dance with said old man and some family drama instills. She finds a key before a mouse, takes it and now must travel to some magical Fourth realm to stop a war for some reason? And after avoiding Realm War 3 she somehow gets a key to open the magical egg. Now keep in mind right now I was reflecting on why the heck Popcorn costs $10 a bucket when I could have popped Great Value Popcorn and hid it in my hoodie for half that and was not paying particular attention to the details but my brother sure was into it.
And that goes into my second point: despite the terminal case of boredom experienced by me and the three other customers over the age of 12, the kids really enjoyed it.
Magical eggs aside, at its core, the movie is distinctly Disney. With great looking, top of the line visuals and admittedly beautiful set pieces, Disney made sure not to cheap out with its reported $130 million budget. As outlandish as the environment may be in my eyes, Disney sells it with great acting even with its slow pacing and embellished plot lines.
But being a Disney movie cannot single handedly save a terrible movie and audiences agree-in its first day opening with an abysmal $6 million. Articles claim despite the loss it’s not a real hit on Disney business whose Marvel, and Pixar movies far surpass any losses they may suffer from the Nutcracker.
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms will distract children for about two hours and probably have you appreciate how far computer graphics has come before finding a comfortable position and falling asleep. It’s a solid visual piece that falls flat in pacing and a bizarre plot only a child could follow and yet it will still somehow be better than the 548th remake of The Grinch.